Squat toilets are terrifying when you encounter one for the first time. Where do you sit? How do you watch YouTube videos comfortably? Are there any benefits using squat toilets vs sitting toilets? How do I use a squat toilet with bad knees? But if you’ve traveled extensively, or about to go on a backpacking trip around Asia, you will definitely see these kinds of toilets. You may even have to use them when the time comes; during that jungle trek in Laos, or when you’re motorbiking through Vietnam, or after a Massaman curry in Thailand. Below I have compiled a list of tips on how to use a squat…
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Don’t Be This Guy! – At A Cinema
Went to Samui to extend our visa. Turns out it was ‘Big Buddha Day,’ a Thai public holiday which meant the immigration office was closed. Ended up having to spend a night on Samui where we ate terribly overpriced meals, bought pillows at Tesco Lotus, and watched ‘Chappie’ at the cinemas. Great movie, great pillows, long 34 hrs away from Koh Tao.
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Excuses To Not Travel
We come across a lot of people who after hearing that we just decided to pack up and leave home to travel South East Asia, tell us that they wish they could do it. I then give them a list of reasons of why they should do it, and they then give me a list of excuses on why they can’t. Here’s my response! I Have No Money Bull. You have money. You just don’t know how to use it. You obviously have enough money to buy a computer and to buy the internet to read this. You have money, you might not have enough to travel using planes,…
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Don’t be this selfish git!
Don’t stretch out and hog a whole bench on the 2.5 hr ferry ride. It was a packed ferry and a few people, Lionel and I included, ended up sitting on little plastic stools that we placed in between the benches. Some people are so polite. Not. And he wasn’t even sleeping!
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Don’t Be These Knob Shiners – Play Your Music Elsewhere
Dudes. It’s 7am. Remember how we all got off the overnight buses from Bangkok at 5am? Remember how there were bus loads of half asleep people waiting at the Chumphon pier in the dark? Trying to sleep on anything they could find; benches, deck chairs, the floor? Remember how we just got on the Lomprayah ferry like 5 minutes ago? And everyone is very tired and most people are trying to get just a teensy bit more sleep? Yeah? Yeah. Then shut the hell up and play your bongo, ukulele, Spanish singing music elsewhere! Not on the main bloody stairway of the ferry! In fact, don’t play it anywhere. Don’t…
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How To Use A Bum Gun (Butt Spray) in South East Asia
After eight months in South-East Asia it was inevitable that we would end up using that weird hose sitting behind the toilet in every public and private bathroom. Initially, I didn’t fully grasp the concept of spraying your butt hole, rather than wiping the butt hole (I blame my parents and Western society for leading me down the wrong path), but now having used the butt spray on more than several occasions, I completely understand the notion of showering your arsehole
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Another Freak Accident – To Burn or Not to Burn
Another injury to add to my travels unfortunately… Lionel and I were on the beach last night with some friends. We had a beer (literally one beer and one whiskey/coke) and watched the fire show. Lionel and Nathan, another DMT, went to have a closer look and a bit of the rope hit them.
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Don’t Be This Stingy, Smart Arsed Teenage Boy.
When we saw a teenager carrying this around the 7-Eleven, we pissed ourselves laughing. I had to get a photo of this smart-arse trying to cheat the system. Unfortunately for him, it collapsed near the register where everyone had to step through some very sticky coke slurpee. Don’t do it. Seems like a good idea until everyone hates you for making their flip-flops sticky.
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Some Grossness to Start your Morning
QUESTION: Why do some men grow their little finger’s nail to ridiculously long proportions? ANSWER: To pick their nose, ear and whatever else takes their fancy. Gross.
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Bus Troubles
A family of Italians claimed our water bottle as theirs today on the bus. Then they drank from it, or mauled the bottle more like. We didn’t know what to do, should we have claimed it back? Did we even want it back? Then we were really thirsty.
